Good girls say "thanks for a wonderful dinner"...
Bad girls say, "what's for breakfast?"

Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.

Good girls wear white cotton panties...
Bad girls don't wear any.

Good girls wax their floors...
Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot...
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls make chicken for dinner...
Bad girls make reservations.

Good girls blush during bedrooms scenes in movies...
Bad girls know they could do better.

Good girls never consider sleeping with the boss...
Bad girls never do either, unless he's very, very rich.

Good girls believe you're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls...
Bad girls believe that you are fully dressed with JUST a strand of pearls.

Good girls love Italian food...
Bad girls love Italian waiters.

Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say:

What do you mean today's our anniversary?

Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.

Ohh, this diamond ring is way too big!!

And for our honeymoon we're going fishing in Alaska!

Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.

Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.

I don't care if it is on sale, 300 dollars is too much for a designer dress.

Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say:

Here honey, you use the remote.

You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.

Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!

While I'm up, can I get you anything?

Honey since we don't have anything else planned, will you go to the wallpaper store with me?

Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes?

Aww, forget Sunday night football, Let's watch Desperate Housewives.

Hey let me hold your purse while you try that on.

We never talk anymore

Pickup Lines - And Suggestions for Women to Respond

"So, wanna go back to my place?"
"Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

"Haven't we met before?"
"Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

"I want to give myself to you."
"Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

"Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

"I'd go through anything for you."
"Good! Let's start with your bank account."

He: Would you like to dance?
She: Not with you.
He: Oh, come on. Lower your standards a little, I just did.

He: So what do you do for a living?
She: Female impersonator.

He: So, baby, your place or mine?
She: Both. You'll go to your place and I'll go to mine!

Q: Can I buy you a drink?
A: Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

He: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together.
She: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U
together.